top of page

Greg Hunt's New Mission Impossible, Falling Smoking Rates

21 September 2021

by Pippa Starr

Coming To Australia From October 1!


Roll The Trailer!

Your mission if you choose to accept it, should you choose to accept it, I wonder, did you choose not to?

The end you always feared is coming and the blood will be on your hands, the fallout of all your good intentions.

You had a terrible choice to make in Australia Greg, to save smokers lives or Billions of dollars in taxes and now Australia is at risk.

This is tobacco controls mission, if he had of held on to the cool aid, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But smokers would be dead, yes but that’s the job.

From October 1, 2021 all vapers are being made to get a doctor’s prescription to legally import nicotine for vaping. There are huge fines at the Australian border to be that are designed to bankrupt the most vulnerable.

$220000 from Australian customs plus other state and territory fines up to $45000 plus possible jail time in some jurisdictions.

In June last year Mr Mission Impossible aka Greg Hunt fended off 28 of his own LNP cabinet party members to somehow keep his job after backtracking on an attempt to completely ban nicotine vaping products at the borders.

But Mr Mission Impossible keeps bouncing back!

He has managed to work with allies from the TGA and other anti-vaping enthusiasts to ensure the fourth highest source of Australian taxation revenue keeps rolling in off the sales of deadly tobacco products.

His plan leaves deadly tobacco products fully exposed at over 25000 retail outlets across Australia. He seemingly relishes the massive price hikes of Big Tobacco products that stimulate a massive underbelly of crime via the increasing sales of combustible tobacco products via the black market.

But, Mr Mission Impossible is under pressure do deliver what he promised.

“I won’t have vaping legalised on my watch!”

His plan for over 600000 nicotine vaping quitters of smoking seems to be fragmenting, but have no fear, our Mr Mission Impossible won’t let you smokers down.

There are just 14 doctors available and listed to roll out his cruel but genius plan to make smoking great again.

It’s expected that at least 200000 vapers will be turned off by the new laws at the border and return to smoking.

Mr Mission Impossible’s greatest weapon is the virtue signal.

“We must protect the children from this thing”, he proclaims as not one human man, woman, or child has died or contracted a deadly disease from vaping non-deadly nicotine, nor is it legal for anyone under age 18 to purchase in Australia.

It’s greater than 70% more effective than any other nicotine replacement therapy and at least 95% safer than smoking cigarettes.

It's a massive obstacle for Mr Mission Impossible to overcome as he remains steadfast to keep people smoking.

Each doctor that prescribes nicotine will no doubts be under tremendous scrutiny from Greg’s allies at the TGA to ensure that Mr Mission Impossible’s mission is a success.

Australia's extremely clever Mr Impossible has made sure his mission succeeds by setting up a situation where if all the alleged doctors that are willing to prescribe nicotine vaping actually do prescribe for all vapers, they would have to bump all their other patients for at least a year. Doctors won't do that.

He’s not only a thinker, he’s a genius.

That why he is Australia’s Mr Mission impossible!

At the next election he will see smoking rates rise while disguising them well with inventions loaned by Major Boothroyd aka-Q enthusiasts at the department of health. Oops wrong movie, that was a Bond reference, it doesn’t matter for our Mr Mission Impossible is infallible, isn’t he?

Or will I be writing Johnny English & Naked Gun legendary quotes soon where

Greg Hunt is saying things like

“Goodyear? No The Worst”

Or “It can’t be, It cant be!”

Regardless, we can be sure of three things Mr Mission Impossible will deliver,

$17 billion dollars in tobacco taxes this year,

at least 21000 premature smoking deaths each year &

a complete mission that makes it near impossible for smoking rates to start falling significantly again!

bottom of page